Reactions if from the thoughts and response is understanding. Reaction comes from the past; response is always in the present. But ordinarily we react—we have everything already ready inside. Somebody is doing something and we react as if a button has been pushed. Somebody insult you and you become angry. There is not a single moment of waiting, not a single moment where you look at the situation to see it may be different. The person who is insulting you may be right. He may have simply revealed a truth to you and that’s why you feel insulted. Or he may be absolutely wrong, or he may be just a nasty person. But you have to look into the person—if he is right, you have to thank him because he has shown you something to you. He has shown compassion towards you, he has been friendly bringing a truth to your heart. May be it hurts, but that is not his fault.
Or may be he is simply stupid, ignorant. Not knowing anything about you, he has blurted out something. Then there is no need to be angry; he is simply wrong. Nobody is worried bout something that is absolutely wrong. Unless it has some truth in it, you are never irritated by it. You can laugh at it, at the whole absurdity of it. . it is ridiculous.
Or the person is just nasty and that is his way. He is insulting to everybody. So he is not doing anything to you in particular; he is simply being himself—that’s all. So in fact nothing needs to be done. He is just that type of person.
Somebody once insulted Buddha. His disciple Ananda said “I was getting very angry and you kept quiet. You should have at least allowed me to say something; I would have put him right.”
Buddha said, “You surprise me. First he surprised me, and now you surprise me. Whatever he is saying is simply irrelevant. It is unconnected wit us, so why get into it? But you surprise me even more: you have been very annoyed, you look angry. This is foolish. You are punishing yourself. Cool down. There is no need to be angry—because anger is fire. Why are you burning your own soul? If he has committed some mistake, why do you punish yourself? It is stupid.” But we react.
I have heard…
One man was saying to one of his friends, “to please my wife, I have given up smoking, drinking, and playing cards.”
“That must makes her happy,” said the friend.
“No, it has not. Now, every time she talks to me, she can’t think of anything to say.”
People live mechanical, robot lives. If your wife has been continuously nagging you to stop smoking, and you think she will be happy if you stop, you are wrong. If you smoke she is unhappy, if you stop smoking she will be unhappy because then she will not find any excuse to nag you.
One woman said to me she didn’t want her husband to be perfect. I asked, “Why?” She said, “Because I love nagging.” If the husband is perfect what are you going to do? You will simply be at a loss.
Watch yourself, watch others, and see how they are behaving in a mechanical way—unconscious, like somnambulist, sleepwalkers.
Reaction is of the mind; response if of the no-mind.
From The Series of talks of OSHO…Insights For A New Way Of Living
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